would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
