New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
