You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
