her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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