Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
