Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
whose parrot is this?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
