He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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