Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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