So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
