I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
