i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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