Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
