in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
