ya dads aren't the best wingmen
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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