god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
