you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
