my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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