did you get engaged???
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
