They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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