Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
