what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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