I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
