I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
