Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The uberlube is also flammable
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
