so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
