I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
