I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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