The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
