i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i love accidental penises.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
