Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
