That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
