In the future we'll all be gay
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
