i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
