Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wrigley field is MILF paradise
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
