I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have aggressive nipples.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
