you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
