I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
