That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
