You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
