My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
