and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
