I wanna bring you to show and tell
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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