If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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