he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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