well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
