I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
