Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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