my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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