my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
