Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
