Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
